Thursday, June 05, 2003

Move on

8am. n im still awake. sighz was juz reading a blog juz now, name of which happens to be this n3's title. (yes dear princess if ur reading this its celeste's blog). move on, yes move on. everyone who noes abt the storm of emotions churning in me keep telling me tt. move on. yet i still cant. i watch my frens pick themselves up from bad breakups and move on with their life. ppl like my princess (im proud of u babe). her breakup was real bad. but she still managed to pull herself together and move on. yet im still stuck in this puddle of quicksand tt's emerged from my own vortex of emotions and threatening to pull me apart and dump me into another dimension. altho i tink it has already done so. 4yrs, or 1461days(add 1 fer the leap yr), or 35064hours, or 2103840mins, or 126230400secs. n im still holding on. holding on to some scrap of hope tt i probably dreamed up myself and clinging on like my very life depends on it (i tink it reali does). and mine wasn't even a breakup(yeah to all the ppl who hate me out there laugh/snigger/gloat all u wan, like i care). wad in hell am i trying to do to myself? my brain says,"hey boy, practise wad u preach to others n fucking move on with ur life! u've been without her longer den u've been with her so wads wrong with not having her?!" yet my heart says,"(lovingly, tenderly) hey boy.. if u hold on to the hope that still exists in me, there's a chance she'll eventually be moved... (cue tender/loving pat)." i tink my heart's trying to kill me. or make me kill myself. yeah im chi1 qing2/devoted/dumb/foolish wadeva. so sue me. screw it.


Love was once blinded by Madness in a game and thus Love is now blind and always guided by Madness