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cos i miss you.
miss vb. (tr.) regret the loss or absence of
the more i learn

the more my heart

and there's nothing you can do about it.


Thursday, October 02, 2003

Disbelief

i cant believe i only knew today. everything's a total shock, only knew when i read someone's blog. i hope she's fine. and stef, im sorry if i pissed u off ya? i din mean to. i really dun blame u. sigh. this is one of the nights where i know i shud just go to bed and sleep, wake up, pretend to myself and the whole world out there tt's nth's wrong with me and im still the normal dilun everyone knows. somehow or rather i cant. i cant get myself to sleep. and when i do finally drop off to sleep after a few hours of stoning i dun wanna wake up. i just wanna slumber for eternity. i dun wanna face up to anything everything tt's out there waiting for me. i dun wanna pretend anymore. i dun wanna pretend, to the world ,to anyone who asks, and to myself, tt im fine and nth's wrong. i hate the night.

the night comes, and my sanity departs, leaving my mind in turmoil and my heart in pain




lun @ 1:56 AM

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who rules: my heart // who's ruled: my mind //