Sunday, October 26, 2003

Thoughts

this's supposed to be written last night, but i fell asleep. shall finish it now.

hmm i tink i shud clear up the controversy about my previous entry. contrary to wad many ppl tink, i did not have sex or whatsoever. i went to play football lar. tt was the rash thing i did lar, because of my knee and all. sheesh. ya and if u wanna scold me pls do so, it makes me feel loved =D

anyway, im blogging this coz its been a week since i last blogged and jing's been nagging me to blog an entry coz she says she's run out of stuff to read and she's bored. so after i post this up i better see a tag from jing. =D show ur appreciation lar.
was juz reading my friendster testimonials juz now, and they mostly say the same thing about me. that im a good listener, and i give good advice blah blah, u get the idea. are they true? i dunno. maybe to a certain extent they are. yeah but im the worst culprit in the world at not practising wad i preach. i almost always never follow my own advice haha. im stubborn lar. and im proud of it lol. some frens tell me i should go try be a counsellor in the future, which makes me wonder. those counsellors u see at those family service centres or MCDS, dun they have their own problems to worry about? how come they have so much time to help others with their problems? are they so infallible tt they have NO problems whatsoever? is there such a person in the world at all? someone who does not have to worry about anything at all. i tink the only ones who are like that, are babies. they sleep all day, cry when they need transportation, pee on anyone who tries to carry them, and their special way of thanking u for a good meal is puking on u. so nice eh? juz like my lil brother. i so love him man. babies are just so adorable and free of worldly worries. anyway, was talking to yuanie again, and i like talking to her, coz we always end up talking about very serious stuff. like the problems we're facing and all. and sometimes when she asks me about some problem she's facing i tend to ponder alot. and its really food for thought for me. i guess it works both ways lar, the things we both talk about gets both of us into thinking mode, and i suppose its good. can sort out my thoughts. but i hate it when i cant think thru smth. den tt particular subject will get clogged in my mind and when i got nth to do i juz stone there and the subject comes automatically to my mind again. totally pissifying. hate the way my mind works, i tink i should give my brain for medical research when i die, to figure out how come my mind's so weird. yeah like they'll want it anyway. i aint einstein or wadeva. even if they did i tink they wun publish the findings in some medical journal. it will probably end up in some "world's weirdest" compilation. been tinking alot recently. about my future and all. my plans for myself. dun tink i've said this here before. my dream's to study sport science. in uk. uni of leicester. in my current situation i have to save like siao before i can go there. coz i wud need an extra foundation year. O levels only, bo pian. and im pretty disillusioned by the education system in sg liao. so no chance in me studying here. i've already decided, i will sign on with the army after my 2 yr NS, save like siao until im 25-26, and off i am to leicester. alot of ppl telling me not to sign on with saf, coz i only got o levels. but when i come out to work its the same, i only got o levels and my job choices will be crap too. so i mite as well stay in the army and save before going to uk. tt's wad im gonna do. and i know, i'll get there.