Tuesday, April 20, 2004

Rant
Listening: Everclear - Wonderful

the song im listening to now doesn't reflect my mood at all. this post's going to be a rant. foul-mouthed and brutally honest

YCKSS NPCC. the unit that i've served for the better part of 6 years. 4 as a cadet, and 2 as a CI. passing out from J'02 after i suffered the disappointment of being rejected for D'01, i've slogged for 2 bloody years to try and bring the unit to a higher level. whether i've succeeded or not remains to be seen still. but one thing's for sure, i daresay i've served the unit with 100% effort thru out this 2 fucking years. i was the one who was around when no CI was to be seen, all either busy with studies or work. after alvin left in august last year to concentrate on his As i was practically the only one who was holding the unit together. i was the only CI willing to beg my tutors to let me off early from lessons when i was still in poly so i could go back to the unit to help out in the training of cadets. i was the one whom the officers turned to when they couldn't find time themselves to conduct dry shoots for cadets, on weekdays when i still had school. never have i refused them, saying i was busy with school. for i really wanted to help. i was the one working to improve the relations with the other units in the area. no one was willing to attend area meetings at all. i was the one who attended, and shared whatever info i've gathered with the unit itself. i sacrificed my weekends for meetings with the other CIs in our area, worked late into the night to help in planning for area activities. i worked my ass off, for what? "its for the unit," i used to think. i had dreams for the unit, dreams that one day YCKSS NPCC may be one of the top few units among 150+ NPCC units in singapore. a unit that young sec 1s would be proud to join. and now, less den 2 months before i enlist and retire from the unit, what do i get in return? the proverbial slap in the face, or more like a kick in the teeth. 1 week before speech day, the most important day in the calendar of our unit, becos each year our unit has the honour of forming the guard-of-honour at the speech day parade, i still have no idea that we have a speech day parade at all. no one informed me at all. and the officers, all of u are fucking liars. u have the cheek to ask me to come back for regular trainings, and yet for a major parade u dun even have the courtesy to inform me. what are u trying to tell me? that im the CI who does all the shit no one's willing to do so i dun need to know at all? and how did i get to know of the parade itself? i have the appointed guard-of-honour contingent commander coming up in my face, boasting to me, " NEXT FRIDAY'S SPEECH DAY YOU KNOW! WE WEARING CEREMONIAL UNIFORM YOU KNOW! GOT SWORD SOMEMORE YOU KNOW!" WCI Ng Beifeng, yes i fucking know everything now. fuck u bitch. if it wasn't for the fact that it was at the area camp when u gloated in my face i would have slapped u there and then in front of over 100 cadet campers. so what if u're wearing 1st uniform, with a ceremonial sword? do u have what it takes to wear it, and what it takes to wield the sword? u know it, i know it, u don't have what it takes. ur drill sucks. even cadets have mentioned to me. dun kid urself bitch. yes now i know. sometimes it doesn't pay to be nice at all. this friday i'll be there for the parade. my LAST parade. not for the unit. not for the officers. not for my fellow CIs. just for me. unit before self? bullshit. the unit can go screw it.