Saturday, March 10, 2007

sometimes when i take a step back and look at everything in a broader perspective i realise that much of what i possess now have been achieved by myself through my own hard work, blood, sweat and tears. which is very self-satisfying of course.

the sad thing is that now, when i look at them, i know that i've really lost something very important to me. everything was going fine, i was really trying my very best but because of one stupid incident i just lost everything and i'm left with nothing now. close friends will have heard this from me, "regret doesn't exist in my dictionary because regretting doesn't help any damn much at all". but the fucking irritating thing is that this time round i think i really do regret losing my temper then, bringing about a chain reaction of events that brought me to my current situation, which SUCKS to the core.

a lot of people think that i'm okay, and i profess to be happy for them, even being very nonchalant about it. but who really understands how hurt i am deep inside me? who can understand the pain that it really causes me? the cold hard truth is that i've been replaced, and it is really maddening to have to bite the bullet and accept it as the status quo.

and to you, you and i both know that i've been with you longer than all the others, in fact, the longest. it is really disappointing to see that you've taken to him so quickly after me. i know that i've probably failed you in some ways, and you're probably justified in doing so. but still, it is really a bitter pill to swallow.

but its okay, no grudges or whatsoever. because dilun's a strong boy and he can take this shit. he'll pick himself up, move on and turn nothing into something again. he just needs a bit of time that's all. he's done it before, so he can and will do it again. he'll get back what's rightfully his.

just trust me on this. :)