Sunday, April 15, 2007

i'm in a very fucked up mood now. why must i deal with all this shit. i really don't understand. i don't look for trouble but trouble looks for me.

what is this world coming to? or more specifically, what's MY world coming to? blah. you know something's really not right with me when i can even get annoyed with mao mao. i didn't mean to lose my temper just now. i really didn't. dui bu qi mao mao.

but honestly speaking, what do i really want?

i just want to be that normal guy on the street who can do what he wants to do, not because he's obliged to, and without thinking so much about how it'll affect someone else.

i just want to be able to care for my friends without anyone asking any inquisitive questions on why do i care so much for them. its hard enough to find that delicate balance, let alone maintain it. but why do some people expect so much from me sometimes? when i do something for someone i just do it, i don't expect much in return. in fact, nothing at all usually. but why do some people think that there're strings attached in whatever we do for others? can't we all just do what we can for others without expecting anything in return and let the world be a better place?

i just want to be able to make my friends happy so that my world with them in it will be a happier and better place.

i just want to be left alone at times when i need to be with myself so i can have some peace and quiet. i'm not superman, i can't be always the one listening and helping. i have my problems that i need and want my own time to think about. even superman has his kryptonite weakness too.

but most of all, i just want to be able to love someone and be loved by her in return. i want to be happy. that's all.

my lana lang, yet my kryptonite. my sweetest dream, and my worst nightmare.